5:15 PM Edit This 3 Comments »
Some of you have commented that if I like going to church I should continue. I should try to clarify my stance on this. I went, mostly because there are people there I know and it's a good time to get to catch up with them. I was indifferent to the service. It didn't reach out and make me want to embrace full-on Christianity.

I recently read a magazine article with Kathie Lee Gifford, who I don't much care for, but she said something that really said what I feel. "Religion binds you. It's like being constipated. Faith breathes. It frees you to become everything you were meant to be." Amen to that! I honestly feel that God has spoken to these different religions to give everyone something that will help them worship God. My husband feels that the kids "have to be Muslim" no doubt from his ultra-religious father tod him he had to do/be. I don't like his approach. To keep peace in the household I won't take them to church except on a holiday like Easter or Christmas since it's part of my immediate family's tradition, just as we go to Masjid on the Eids.


For those readers not on SSF (probably no one who's not, haha). The newest craziness from the inlaws! Back in September I noticed one of my baby's bottles missing. I looked around for it, figured I left it at daycare. Finally remembered to check there and didn't find it. We looked all over the house and I assumed it was under something or behind something. We packed everything in the moving truck and still no bottle.

I get this email from my SIL:

Dearest Cindi,Aliyah and Sweet little Layla,

We just got your video I wasn't on line for a couple of days because I was in Ct. with my sister she finally had her gladder bladder out. ? spelling.

We are so happy thank you it was great and i'm glad you are settling in. It's been rather lonely without the girls and you. Everyone is feeling a large amount of emotions.

? what I found Layla missing bottle it was in a bag of clothes Bhabhi had that you gave her for the kids in Pakistan. I just started laughing an crying at the same time. I know you had to do what you believe is best i just wished it could have been avoided.
Sikandar is really taking the separation hard.

I haven't spoken with fayaz he calls every other day, Badshah says he is depressed and we will proably see him on Friday his parents leave Saturday evening.
Please give my regards to your parents hoping your all well.

Any luck

finding work? How are Aliyah and Layla settiling in for you? Does Fayaz keep in touch?
If you need anything you know you can call me. We love you all very much and hope to see you all soon.

Thanks again for video that was awesome. I need to get updated with modern technology so we can send videos too

Okaaaaaaaaay. That was my thought. So I wrote this back:

Can you send the bottle? That must have been really gross, hahaha. Wonder how it got in there, Layla no doubt.

And this was a response to my request:

The bottle Bhabhi washed and packed it in her bag she holds it and thinks of Layla and then starts to cry I am afraid to ask for it.
I showed them the video and they went from laughing about how cute it was to crying.

These are the weirest people I have ever met! WTH! I asked my husband about it, if he could tell his mother to give the bottle to SIL to mail to me. He just said she's probably keeping it because it belonged to Layla. Sick! I left it at that. It's not worth the energy of more drama and I won't rise to the bait.

Then today I decided to make a call there to tell them I would be thinking of them as they are leaving to go back to Pakistan. Baji answered the phone and we went through the usual niceties. Then he tells me that they worry about the kids here since it's so cold. I reassure him that we were dressing them warmly and that they were doing great. Then he starts in with the comments like "you're too far away to visit" and the clincher at the end "you need to move back closer to be with family". I was outwardly calm and just said "I'm where I need to be with MY family." I don't get why it is I'm supposed to be the one dropping my family, my way of life, where I want to live for them! I understand give and take in a marriage and I haven't had any from them. I try hard to be nice to them and I think that I've more than been that. I truly hope that if they come out here to visit I can handle a little more as I will have my own family to escape to if it's too much.


I enrolled Aliyah in preschool today. The place is so nice! It's brand new, the room's are bright and colorful, the staff super nice! Best of all it's a fraction of what I paid in Connecticut. She starts on Monday. I'm waiting to start Layla there until I know what my schedule will be with work.


jana z. said...

cindi i know you miss your husband...but your state of mind, you sound so good. relaxed and happy honestly. its hard to separate a children from their dad, but sometimes you just have to go and in this case it seems like youve done whats best.

god, i found myself bristling when you were talking about baji saying you need to move back to be close to family....who the hell are your parents and family supposed to be. some people have no clue. just no clue.

things will get better and better for you cindi...i can just feel it.

luckyfatima said...

I don't think it is anyone else's business if you choose to attend a church or even if you decided to become a Christian again. I know how vapid and unsupportive the Muslim community can be at times, and I envy the community feeling in some of the well organized, active churches. If only Muslims could emulate that particular aspect of the Christian American church communities within our own circles. Ultimately I wish that Muslims had been better to u, and you and your girls blossomed as Muslims...but it isn't about lil ole me or any other nosy butt under the sun. you have been thru hell and back, and if you are getting comfort in a Christian setting, more power to you. All the best-Fatima

Anonymous said...


So much is swimming through my head right now. Cindi you are from the states and your near your family now. I don't see anything wrong with you going to a church service with your children. Do what you feel is best. If the children are happy and content at church, why not allow them to interact with other children too? Children have classrooms for specific ages, it's a good idea from my stand point. A misjad is a free for all with kids running everywhere because they don't have something enriching for them to do.