I'm Lonely

7:27 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
But I see that there are still people reading this blog! 

Just feeling a bit sorry for myself, feeling a bit lonely.  Single parenting is not all it's cracked up to be.  I love my little tigers but there are times I need that other helping hand.

Aliyah has been sick.  Even though her strep test was negative she's now on antibiotics because she had all the symptoms.  Poor thing went back to school today but still isn't 100%.  She's sleeping on my legs right now.

Layla was started on oral antibiotics as well as her antibiotic ear drops.  She's had a runny nose, cough and low grade fever and I want her healthy for her surgery.

I'm feeling better energy-wise.  Just wish I had someone but won't at the expense of my sanity again. 

Did you wonder what happened to me?

6:13 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
I've been on a bit of a break from blogging.  Not really by choice, just so busy with life, the holidays, my health.  I noticed that I was feeling very depressed and my anxiety was increasing.  Thought it was a post traumatic thing from all that happened with Layla.  When I went for my routine visit to my psychiatrist she checked my thyroid levels since it had been a year.  It was very low!  We increased that, I started taking my xanax again and slowly I'm feeling better.

I get so frustrated with the part of me that is still so reclusive.  I don't get out and see anyone and I know that visiting with friends would help.  It's work, shopping, church and that's it for outings it seems.  Today I touched base with a friend I've never met, lol.  It was so good to talk to her and even though we've only known each other from online it was like talking to someone I see regularily.  I love visiting with friends and wish I did more often.  She brought up a valid point that as single parents we are faced with most of the parenting on our own, the stressors of maintaining a household.  It's overwhelming at times and talking to other people really helps.  If you're one of my friends reading this, touch base with me.  Just because I don't doesn't mean I don't want to, just my reclusive self.

Layla has been fine since her injury.  We went back to the hospital the end of December to have a scan to check her coils.  The second set they put in to occlude the artery is intact and that all looks good.  The first set they put in, however, is infected and needs to come out.  This could be as "simple" as going through the ear drum to remove it or it could end up being a mastoidectomy which is much more involved.  The docs won't know until they get in there.  Surgery is Feb. 4th so we'll need some prayers going out about then.  Then sperm donor is coming to visit then as well.  Yippee (blech).

We had an awesome holiday!  I love living it through my childrens' eyes.  I went overboard with gifts but had so much fun getting them this year.  Unlike other years I think they really liked all that they got.

We added to our pet menagerie last week.  I got a black cat with long fur who is a complete lover!  He's so great with the kids, tolerates the other pets and he's up for snuggling anytime.  More of what I wanted in a cat.  Our first cat is part Siamese and is very aloof.  She tolerates Aliyah messing with her but avoids Layla and myself.  This new kitty doesn't act like that.

The new forum I hang out at, Chai Wives, had a thread that was in reference to the book 1-2-3 Magic.  It's a child discipline book and I was moved to get it.  I've only started reading it but already trying the counting on the kids.  It has been working for the most part.  We've had a couple of brutal time outs-many tears and screaming-but they got the message quickly that I was done messing around with them.  I was tired of all the tantrums, whining, hitting, etc that they were doing to me and to each other.  I'm hoping it will continue to be effective for all of us.  So much less stress this way!  I love my kids and want to enjoy them instead of dreading what will be in store for me.  This has helped so far.

I will try to keep this updated more.