Weddings

1:51 PM Edit This 1 Comment »
I've been obsessed with the Royal Wedding!  I was a follower of Princess Diana as well.  I'm a hopeless romantic! 

As I was watching I was thinking I wish that I could have had a marriage that lasted.  The wedding I had with this last ex was my fairy tale.  I was so in love with him and really thought he was the answer to all my prayers for someone who would love and care for me as much as I did them.  Our wedding was the ultimate in gooey romance.  The reality is that I got a pathological liar and cheater.  It hurts, a lot.  Then my kids asked me to show them our wedding pictures.  I did and made a point of telling them that I hoped they would be very careful with whom they married and that they be loved and cherished before they got married.

So while I'm enjoying all the pageantry and romance of William and Kate's marriage I'm also wishing that things were different for myself.  Makes me lonely.

I hope I don't spend the rest of my life alone.  I hope I never have to spend it with someone who doesn't respect me again.  It tore my heart to shreds and it's still not whole.  I would never let him have the satisfaction of knowing how bad he hurt me.

Here's my wedding picture:

1 comments:

jana z. said...

cindi, i can SO relate to what youre saying. sometimes i ask myself or even God if this is my burden to bear...not having a decent mate in life. ahh well. i cant tell you everything will be ok and the loneliness will go away because well, you know.

at any rate, you are gorgeous in that picture. you look like a princess yourself. wasnt it you that has bid on the princess di doll or was i dreaming? if im right, good luck

i too was rather teary eyed watching that wedding for two reasons.

1..it made me think back to princess di's big day and how her life could have been so much better. and how proud she would be to know that her sons have turned out so well.

2. the same as you, made me just so damned lonely feeling. thinking that life has just passed me by while the rest of the younger world just keeps turning