Humbling

10:55 PM Edit This 2 Comments »
I need to make some changes. I was spending some time tonight reading back posts from a blog that was mentioned over on SSF. It was this blog: http://nieniedialogues.com. This awesome woman, wife, mom was injured terribly in a plane crash in August. I'm reading this blog and thinking I'm such a whiner and loser. Here's someone who is living in the positives of her life, even things that were tough she seemed to make positive. I love it! I should aspire to be more like her! I pray she and her husband recover and get home to their kids soon!

I've been wallowing in my misery, wanting things to change and not doing much to make those changes. Yeah, yeah, I just moved across country. That didn't change what's INSIDE of me. I want my girls to grow up to be positive independent women and can't really expect that if I can't pull my own lazy ass up and do something. Now is the time.

I need to find more positives in my day. I need to take my girls out and do more with them. I need to re-embrace my spirituality. Brace yourself for this......I'm going to start attending church again. It's a really small town I'm in now, there is no masjid. I also find more strength from the teachings of my youth. It doesn't mean I abandon Islam, because I think I can have both. At least the way I see things. My kids need a religious foundation to grow on and if it ends up coming from a Lutheran church for now that's just fine with me.

I need to work on my physical self. My God have I become a obese flabby thing! I don't like what I see in the mirror. Everything bloated looking. And the lines around the eyes, oy! It ain't from laughter, yep they're frown lines. Damn!

I need to start writing down the things I'm looking for in a relationship to see if the hubby can provide any of them. If not, wow, then I'm going to have to deal with that.

Starting now, I'm going make changes. Small ones, big ones whatever the mood strikes me. I need to have more happiness and light in my life.

2 comments:

luckyfatima said...

Well you seem to be where you need to be to take further steps and eventually end up with what you are looking for in terms of self and spirit. Good luck. Everyone is rooting for you!

Crysmissmichelle said...

It's is great to have inspiration to do the things you want to do. I hope things continue to get better.

Be happy :-)